A Blog of Reason From a Godless Liberal

Archive for the ‘kooks’ Category

Junkie: Jesus is Trying to Frame Me!

In kooks, lol, religion, stupid people on November 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm

Via Godless Blogger

Original Story @ UPI.com

LOUISVILLE, Ky., Nov. 10 (UPI) — Police in Kentucky said a man found with drug paraphernalia claimed he was set up by someone at the highest level of power: Jesus Christ.

Louisville police said officers performing a home check on Craig Dunn, 52, who is on home incarceration for a parole violation, discovered a tube of aluminum foil burnt on one end and a teaspoon with burns and possible drug residue, WLKY-TV, Louisville, Ky., reported Tuesday.

Police said Dunn told them Jesus was attempting to set him up and was the probable owner of the items.

Dunn is facing a drug paraphernalia charge, police said.

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BREAKING NEWS: Berthers R Dum

In conspiracy, kooks, politics, POTUS, stupid people on October 30, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Birthers believe everything they hear on Coast to Coast.

Via Huffington Post:

[…] According to their answers, birthers are less educated, watch more TV, and read fewer books than non-birthers.

Some 43 percent of them have never traveled outside of their home country. They’re 24 percent more likely to speak only a single language. They are 63% less likely to have ever owned a passport.

A third of them didn’t vote in the last presidential election. Forty-four percent of them believe that the Big Bang didn’t really happen and 47 percent don’t believe in global warming. Birthers are also 19 percent more likely to believe in UFOs and alien visits to earth and 50 percent more likely to believe in alien abductions. […]

I refuse to believe it; everyone knows that conspiracy theorists are the real heroes. This is just the mainstream media trying to keep the public from discovering what we enlightened already know. The President of the United States is an illegal Muslim immigrant, whose life goal is the complete destruction of western civilization.

If these people didn’t bring us the ‘facts’ that ‘they’ don’t want us to know, as a society we might continue to believe ridiculous hoaxes like the moon landing, evolution, and cosmology. Thankfully, they came forward, and relegated such ideas to the fringe.

It took the insight, bravery, and wisdom of a college student to expose 9/11 for what it was, a perfectly planned, executed, and covered up attack by the United States government on its people for reasons that aren’t quite clear (or at least agreed on). If only President Bush had used the same people responsible for 9/11 to plan the Iraq war, we would have been out of there in weeks instead of years. While it is true that so-called ‘experts’ and ‘scientists’ have debunked the Loose Change video countless times, but those ‘experts’ are just pawns in the grander conspiracy.

Occam’s razor is unsettled science! Archimedes was a homosexual!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Jesus 2009

In kooks, lol, religion on October 28, 2009 at 10:11 pm

Catholics Upset Over Sunday’s Curb Your Enthusiasm

In kooks, lol, religion, sightings on October 28, 2009 at 6:58 pm

If you missed Sunday’s Curb, this is what ‘them crazy Catholics’ are in a huff about.


The Catholic League Blasted Curb on Monday saying:

Catholic League president Bill Donohue comments on last night’s episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” the HBO show where Larry David plays himself:

Mention Larry David in a word association game and “Seinfeld” rolls off the lips. That show, which David created, wrote and produced, was brilliant. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is not. Indeed, last night’s episode demonstrates that David’s best years are behind him. He ought to quit while he’s ahead.

At one point in the show, David goes to the bathroom in a Catholic home and splatters urine on a picture of Jesus; he doesn’t clean it off. Then a Catholic woman goes to the bathroom, sees the picture and concludes that Jesus is crying. She then summons her equally stupid mother and the two of them fall to their knees in prayer. When David and Jerry Seinfeld (playing himself) are asked if they ever experienced a miracle, David answers, “every erection is a miracle.” That’s what passes for creativity these days.

Was Larry David always this crude? Would he think it comedic if someone urinated on a picture of his mother? This might be fun to watch, but since HBO only likes to dump on Catholics (it was just a couple of weeks ago that Sarah Silverman insulted Catholics on “Real Time with Bill Maher”), and David is Jewish, we’ll never know.

“Then a Catholic woman goes to the bathroom, sees the picture and concludes that Jesus is crying. She then summons her equally stupid mother and the two of them fall to their knees in prayer.”


Really Bill, you think they are stupid? Are you not aware that Christians see miracles in randomness almost constantly? Their reaction is completely in

character with what any devout, I-see-Jesus-in-an-ass-groove, believer would do.

Furthermore Bill, you suck.

UPDATE: Jesus Spotted in Dog’s Ass – I’m Not Kidding.

Obama is Going To Seize Power and Rule Us Like a King

In editorial, kooks, republicans, treason, Violence on October 20, 2009 at 4:00 pm

A Sad Website from Sad People

The fact we have a democratic and (more importantly) African American president has been fueling a murderous rage for almost a year now. Since the election of Barack Obama, this rage has driven the far right to an obsession with the idea of a bloody revolution in the United States. This is a hypocrisy which I’ve pointed out many times, so I won’t dwell on it here. However, I have found another over the top example of this treasonous fantasy I’d like to share.

The United State of Earth – 2011 Obama’s Failed Coup: The site features a future time line starting with Obama’s attempt to permanently seize power, a second civil war, fake news, and a game where you can lead a revolutionary army against the legitimate and duly elected government. The war is fought county by county across the United States.

The fake news section offers a tale of Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh being found dead in a liberated FEMA concentration camp. You can read about right wing talk radio hosts, bloggers, former military officers, and Ted Nugent leading armies against the president and liberal members of congress. They are all essentially the same story. [Right Wing Kook X]’s army captures [Liberal Y] who is an freedom-stealing-America-hating-marxo-commie-facist-Hitler-lover and is subjected to [Sadistic Humiliation Z]. Of course, getting to the outlaw liberals is never easy as they are often guarded by the armies of Hamas, Americorps volunteers, intercity children, homosexuals, and Obama loyalists.

Where were these people when President Bush was actually taking away American liberties, expanding the federal government, and doubling our national debt?

At home. Why? It’s about race.

Another Rapture?

In kooks, lol, religion on October 19, 2009 at 8:17 pm

Remember the predicted rapture of 2009? Supposed to have taken place before September 22nd, 2009, I was highly disappointed at the lack of ascending Christians.

Well the same group that offered the ridiculous prediction of a September Armageddon are at it again. This time, you have until October 21st to get laid. I hope I make it!

Check out their very professional and credible website.

Good Rush Cartoon

In Culture Wars, kooks, politics, racists, sports, updates on October 15, 2009 at 7:51 pm

Even though he won’t be getting the team, this is still pretty funny.

More on Rush and the NFL:

Update: The Nation Skewers Limbaugh

Rush, Politics, and the NFL

The NFL Should Reject Rush

Update: The Nation Skewers Limbaugh

In Culture Wars, hate, kooks, politics, racists, sports, updates on October 14, 2009 at 8:21 pm

The Nation’s Dave Zirin responds to Rush Limbaugh calling him ‘scum’. This is an update from a previous post.

Full Story at The Nation

Limbaugh said of us:

They are the ones with prejudice and bigotry coursing through their vanes [sic], through their hearts, and through their souls. They are consumed with jealousy and rage. They are all liberals–and make no mistake: That’s what this is about. It is about ideology. It isn’t about race. It’s about their being jealous and attempting to discredit me, and they’ve now sunk to the low of repeating fabricated quotes that they cannot source…. These people are scum.

What we all did was carry a quote from Limbaugh that he absolutely insists he did not say. The quote is:

We didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.

For all the dittoheads out there, here is how we came up with the quote: it was in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Detroit Free Press, the Washington Post, and in the book 101 People Who Are Really Screwing America by Jack Huberman. It has been out in the ether for years. Now that it is endangering his chances to become an NFL owner, Limbaugh is serving up a full heaping of indignation.

Rush, Politics, and the NFL

In Culture Wars, editorial, kooks, politics, racists, sports on October 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm

I heard something interesting this morning on The Dan Patrick Show. They were discussing whether Rush Limbaugh’s bid to buy the St. Louis Rams is being treated fairly when a caller made a very good point.

Basically, he correctly pointed out that sports are one of the few things we have left that instantly unites us as a common people. Indeed, in America, we love our sports. Atheist and theists, liberals and conservatives, the rich and the poor, and people of all the backgrounds that make up our melting pot, can cheer, hug, high-five, and sometimes cry together.

Americans are bitterly divided right now. Some say (I’m not one of them), the national rift hasn’t been this wide since the Civil War. We need to keep politics out of sports. Limbaugh has proven he isn’t capable of separating the two. While moonlighting as a NFL commentator in 2003 Limbaugh famously said

“I think what we’ve had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well,” Limbaugh said. “There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn’t deserve. The defense carried this team.”

Rush was of course referring to Donovan McNabb, a successful black quarterback (who carries one of my fantasy teams).

The bigot Limbaugh just said during a TODAY show interview that business and ideology are inseparable.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Everything Rush says or does as owner would be under a microscope by the far left. Imagine if a black quarterback was holding out for more money under a Rush-owned team. Fairly or not, race would be an undertone, if not openly discussed. If Limbaugh took a hard line against a black player, again, fairly or not, there would be grumblings of racism. This would naturally prompt an over the top response from the far right. Black players are facists? Hitler? Muslims? Going to execute your grandma?

No, politics doesn’t have a place in American sports. The NFL would be wise to keep it out.

Gun Enthusiast Shot Dead By Husband

In guns, Irony, kooks, Violence on October 9, 2009 at 10:13 pm

Women Had Previously Taken a Gun to a 5 year old’s Soccer Game

Another senseless death, you have to feel for her four kids. Not to sound heartless but they say, live by the sword die by the sword, for a reason. A good reason.

Via CNN

A Pennsylvania soccer mom was chatting with a friend via webcam when she was shot to death by her husband, who then went upstairs and shot himself, police said Friday.

Meleanie Hain, 31, made national headlines last year as the mother who carried a loaded, holstered handgun to her 5-year-old daughter’s soccer game.

Actual pictures of the victim, Meleanie Hain.